Me

January 2, 2018


Sometimes you need to put yourself first, even if it's uncomfortable and even if you're the mom. Here's why.

This past fall, someone asked me if choosing a word for the year was still a thing. I wasn't really sure, fads change so quickly in the online world, but it got me thinking about what my own word would be if I decided to play along. I have to say that without much contemplation, the word "Me" popped into my head.

The fact that it came to me in less than ten seconds was a clear indication that it was right, fitting...but it also sounded extremely selfish and I wasn't sure I could say it out loud to the whole world...let alone do it.

To be honest, the thought of bounding in the new year yelling "me, me, me" made me a little bit nauseous, but something inside was saying, it's time.

You see, since I started blogging, I have been choosing one word to represent my goal for the year and then listing, even if just in my head, subcategories, of things I wanted to accomplish.

I wanted to eat better, I wanted to exercise, I was going to write a book, meditate and visit with friends more often.

Unfortunately, most of those things never happened. Or if they did it was either under a great amount of pressure and stress or inconsistently at best.

Eating well, for example, takes thought, investigation, prep and time. Developing a new and appropriate exercise routine for someone with limitations and who has been on the sidelines for far too long requires all the same things. Writing a book demands discipline, uninterrupted hours to focus...more time...as do meditation and outings with friends.

And time is what I never had.

From January to December I would cook for the family, make their menu a priority. I scoured the internet for vegan and vegetarian recipes to prepare, catering to whatever their current fancy was. After all, they needed to eat.

I shouldered their worries, carried their burdens around with me. I managed their fledgling business, I dropped everything if a family member asked for a favor, wiped my calendar clean to deal with unexpected doctor appointments or car trouble, picked up the phone when a friend needed an ear. I carved out hours to visit my mom at the nursing home several times a week and to do laundry, make beds, clean the kitchen and pay the bills.

Day after day after day.

Sorry stress, I've decided to see someone else.

However, when it came time for me to work on my blog, my book or investigate options for my own meals (I have a terrible stomach which limits what I can eat), I could never find the time. My nails went undone for months. I pushed off doctor appointments and rarely slept.

I was always in a rush. I ate whatever made my stomach feel good, even if it wasn't good for me. I jammed writing into small piecemeal blocks, late at night or in between errands during the day. I was up at 6 or 7am to help everyone start their morning and didn't crawl back into bed until after 1 or 2am, dealing with what never got accomplished during the day.

I didn't exercise and meditation was a thing I said I did, but really didn't in any meaningful way. Too often as I sat there, trying to focus on nothing, I was plagued by thoughts of what else I should be doing instead.

And then I got tired. Really, really tired.

Sometime around August, I found it hard to function. I actually woke up exhausted for weeks at a time. My mind was always racing with what I needed to get done in the next 24 or 48 hours, but my body would not cooperate. I couldn't catch up and it was a terrible feeling.

Then one day in late October, I was talking to a friend, who happens to be a life coach, and she said, you need to stop, you're doing too much for too many. You have to learn how to say no and put yourself first.

Ok, sure.

It's a nice thought, but that's not what moms do. Who's going to take care of everything on my list, from the chores to the nurturing? Moms can't say no. And she said, "No, you can't say no...but you need to learn how, because you're driving yourself into the ground."

And she was right.

She asked me to start going to bed before midnight to see if that would change things. "Start small", she said, "try this one thing." I laughed, I didn't need a lot of sleep, I never did, and those were valuable quiet hours, but my husband (who had been telling me the exact same thing for over a decade) asked me what I had to lose, so I tried it. He waited up for the late night stragglers and for two weeks, I tucked myself in every night before 11pm.

The changes in my energy level were astounding almost immediately. I was shocked at how much better I felt. I was able to make more of my fewer waking hours and felt better overall. The difference was dramatic.

I was also less stressed and more focused. I was able to do hard things with a clearer head, like visit my ailing mom and confront scary doctor appointments.

Don't get me wrong, sticking to that bedtime was a real struggle. Old habits are hard to break and my mind was always making trouble. Would my husband fall asleep before the last birdie was in the nest? What if someone had car trouble late at night in the cold and he snored through their call? These thoughts plagued me.

I also judged myself, I looked at the lost hours of work and lamented. Shouldn't I be using this time to return some emails and answer comments? How many more blogs could I read, if I pushed myself beyond that 11pm curfew?

Then the kids resisted. Why couldn't I stay up late to binge on Netflix with them? Or proofread a late night term paper submission? Why wasn't I going to be up when they came home to discuss their evenings? Long established patterns were being challenged and no one likes change.

Eventually, everyone adjusted and when they saw the changes in me, they were happy to cooperate.

I know the old saying that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of them. Heck, I've given that advice to many over the years. Funny, how easy it is to ignore your own words, isn't it?

My teeny, tiny bedtime experiment proved to me that I really do need to put myself first, at least sometimes, and that it's really not selfish, it's actually better for everyone involved.

So "Me" it is.

And now I've said it out loud.

Even if it does still makes me a little bit nauseous.

Do you have a word for the year?

Peeking back at previous years' words!
2017
To begin, begin. William Wordsworth
2016
There is joy in work. Henry Fonda

62 comments:

  1. Me is a perfect word to start out the new year Kim. I am right there with you. I am going to try to go to bed earlier than I usually do. I love those quiet hours in the late night all to myself but I too know if I would go to bed earlier than midnight or 1am I will feel better and have more energy in my day. Great advice. Here to a new year filled with more "Me" for you and for all of us.
    xoxo
    Kris

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    1. Kris, I was shocked at the difference it made. I remember when the babies were born and I used to exist on 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night with kids that didn't nap during the day and I felt fine. I guess there's a big difference between 29 and 49 though! I hope you get a little me sleep this year! xo

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  2. Kim, I totally understand the dilemma. In fact, I've been there. I'm a night owl myself, and often feel I can get a lot done at night. When others are wilting at 10, I get a second wind and can go for hours more, but I'm sorry the next day b/c I'm so tired. I need to do what you're doing. I love your word for the year, and it's a great blog title b/c it made me want to click, so that's good too.
    Sounds like you're TOO busy, and need to put yourself first. Good advice from your life coach. There's always something more to do in the day, and I'm exactly like you...when I get quiet for a minute, I'm thinking what I should be doing. We are so hard on ourselves. Yes, I like "Me."

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    1. Thanks Florence. I think it's a common problem. I'm not sure if it's women or our generation, but we'e always going, going, going, aren't we? I do feel better when I'm rested, but it's a struggle to commit to a little me time. But I am going to try... 🙂

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  3. Hi Kim, it sounds like you have the right path forward and I hope that 2018 is a better year for you because of it. Stress is a terrible thing and can be so overwhelming. One thing to consider if the evening early bedtime is hard for your family perhaps your life coach friend could tell you if your sleep needs to be continuous or if cumulative would provide the same benefit. I used to work with a nurse who shared that her cardiologist told her that the best thing a woman could do is treat herself to an afternoon nap. Perhaps you could plan ahead to stay up late occasionally to binge on netflix with your kids by getting a nap in while they are gone during the day. The potential problem would be that if you start to 'break your rule' it would be easy to fall back into those old patterns and pretty soon you could be staying up late and skipping the nap. Glad that the increased sleep is making a difference. I used to work rotating shifts and working nights and sleeping during the day for me is just not the same. I wouldn't get a full nights sleep and I really noticed the difference. Take good care of yourself.

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    1. Thanks for the tip, Lorri! You always have something interesting and helpful to share. I appreciate the perspective, great food for thought. Traditionally, I have never been a napper. It's not that I can't nap, I guess it's more of that old work ethic I was brought up with...napping? No one ever napped. My mom used to tell me to nap with the kids when they were little, but they napped so infrequently from the age of 3 months and up that I needed to "do" when they did nap. I guess I have been fostering bad habits for a long, long time, huh? 😉

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  4. well. finally! and that trite old phrase comes to my mind... " YOU GO GIRL!"
    nobody is going to think you're as self absorbed as the Kardashians.
    now they actually take the ME concept to a whole new level. LOLOL! kind of like the sea gulls in 'Finding Nemo.' "mine mine mine mine" or should it be "Me Me Me Me?" can you tell I like them? sorry. meow.
    but for you or any of us really it's only sensible to value our health and to enjoy a decent amount of sleep. you can't be the mom they all know and love if you suffer from exhaustion.
    in your mind you could always add these words too ... be kind to myself.
    it pretty much covers all the bases!
    another cool post. :) xo♥

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    1. Thanks so much, Tammy! I always love your comments. You make me laugh, smile, think and sometimes, blush. And meow. 😂Right there with you my friend. Awesome! ♡

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  5. What a great post! YES, YES, YES Put yourself first even though it might be difficult at first. YOU MATTER!!!!!! Love your blog!

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    1. Thank you so much!! I am working on it, it's not easy. I guess we are conditioned as women to do it all. Thanks for the support, I really was afraid to say it out loud! ♡

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  6. I forgot... Happy New Year and all the best in 2018!

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    1. Thank you and Happy New Year to you, too!! All the best!

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  7. Good for you Kim! I found that the year I turned 50 became my year about "me". The kids are pretty much grown up and self-sufficient and even though I struggle to let go and not be there for their every need, I realized that it was important to do it for me, my health and my happiness! You are totally not being selfish, just the opposite, you are giving your family a better "you"! Wishing you all the best in 2018!

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    1. Thanks so much, Jen! My fiftieth birthday is coming up this year and that is excellent advice. I really struggled with putting this out there, but now I am so glad that I did. Everyone seems to be saying the same thing! It will be tough, but I really need to follow through! Happy New Year. Miss you tons. xoxo

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  8. Kim, I can really relate to your post. I've been a night owl and multi-tasker for as long as I can remember, but in recent years I've found these traits haven't served me as well as they did when I was younger! I too, have purposed to be kinder to myself and to slow down. I admire your commitment--here's to YOU!

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    1. Thanks so much, Cecelia. Let's see if it sticks!! 😉

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  9. Good Morning Kim,
    I am certain that this post will resonate for most of us. As women, we tend to assume the caretaker role of the world! That is a daunting task for us all and as I write this I can't believe we even try to do this. When we lost my sister (I was 20) I decided to try and be two daughters to my parents. It became a way of life for me and overflowed in to my marriage and children. Trying to work on some "me," time too-I'd like to grow more before I am 100! Good luck, and stay strong! I am happy for you.
    xo
    Jemma

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    1. Oh Jemma, I think you are right! So many commenters are cheering me on and agreeing. I think I've struck a chord. And I had a similar situation when my dad passed away. I tried to fill the space he left for my mom, I never wanted her to be sad or lonely or unhappy and I think that became a way of life for me that has overflowed into my own family. It's exhausting. I would love to be responsible for everyone's happiness, but I can't and it's a huge weight to carry, isn't it? Here's to a little me time for both of us! Happy 2018 and thank you for some great insight! ♡

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  10. I think your word is perfect, and far too many of us tend to put ourselves on the back burner too many times and for way too long. So I say, "Good for you, Kim!" It's amazing how resilient our families can be when asked to shoulder some of the load. When I got sick, my sweet hubby had to take over everything....he was already the bill payer and occasionally did some vacuuming; but he had never done laundry, nor did he know how to turn the dishwasher on. It was hard for him at first, but it was good for him, too. He is so good about pitching in and helping now with some of those mundane chores.

    I've been doing the "One Word" thing for a number of years, but haven't quite nailed one down for this year yet. I will choose soon and write a post about it.

    Happy New Year to you, Kim, and your family!
    Warm hugs, Carol

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    1. Thanks so much, Carol! You are right, my husband has always been a 50/50 chore partner, but the kids have stepped up and learned to do laundry, grocery shop and be more independent recently…and it has been good for everyone involved! I can’t wait to read your new word! Happy New Year!! Hugs to you!

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  11. YAY for you!!! I'm so proud of you!

    Sending hugs (if I may) ~

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    1. Thanks so much, Bobbie! And of course, hugs are awesome! ♡

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  12. Good girl, Kim. If we don't take care of ourselves, there will be nothing left of us to care for anyone else! Words to live by, I say. Although, most of those "mom stresses" are out of the house for me, I still haven't quite learned how to let - the stress out of the house with them - but that is just something that I have come to terms with and you will too. Me time does get easier the older I get and it is nice that the guilt of it is almost non-existent anymore. I do make a few resoultions every year, but I never keep them up, and I have found to let them go without any guilt, is mostly easy. Growing older does has its good points!..xxoHappy New Year..Judy

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    1. You know, Judy, I agree with you about growing older. With each year that passes, I gain a little more wisdom and I start to settle into "me" a little more. The kids are getting older and need me less, but yes, I still worry about them. A lot! And that's ok...I just need a little more sleep and a lot more "no's"! Happy New Year! ❤️

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  13. I think that you have chosen a perfect word. Words of Wisdom: Just Begin ... Step By Step ... Little By Little. I have these words printed on a little card, in the front of my Home Journal and see them each time I open it. It is a good reminder. You could always print this and put it in a frame and put it where you will see it often. Wishing you a blessed New Year.

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    1. Great idea, Teri! I think I will print it up. I’ve already read the post to my family so they know what’s coming. Now I just need to stick with it myself! 😉 Happy New Year and stay warm!

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  14. Happy you listened to your friend/life coach!
    Burning ones self out to the core is not the healthy way to go.
    But you knew that and now you know it even more!
    Stay with the ME theme . . . good idea! Good for you!

    I don’t have a word but I do have a theme . . .
    Be true to my authentic self.
    If I am going to say I believe in AUTHENTIC
    I need to live that truth . . .
    Speaking my own mind isn’t always the easiest . . .
    but stay tuned, I am going to use my ‘authentic’ to the fullest.

    Happy NEW YEAR Kim . . .

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    1. I think that being “authentic" is very similar to “me”, Lynne. Sounds like we are on the same path. You need to be true to you as do I, in whatever shape that takes. I wish you al the best in this new year and on your journey. I will be rooting for you!

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  15. I LIKE IT!!! I want to be you when I grow up. I think this is a perfect word, and I hope you stick with your plans because they are excellent!

    Happy New Year!
    xo,
    Ricki Jill

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    1. Thanks Ricki Jill! I am hoping that it sticks, too. I am working on it, but it's not easy. It goes against my instincts! Happy New Year!

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  16. yea I do have a word for the year after reading this!

    YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU ! XO

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  17. When we travel by plane, they tell us that if the oxygen masks fall, we need to use it for ourselves FIRST, so we can then help others. It is the same in "real life". If we don't take care of ourselves, we become more tired which means we are a (bit??) crabbier, and I know personally that my attention span gets shorter, and my eating and snacking habits are quite awful. I think we all are much easier stressed out when we're tired, too. All reasons to make "ME" a great word to choose. Taking care of ourselves truly isn't selfish, but we all seem to feel that way too often! Yay to you choosing ME!

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    1. Thanks Chris...and you know, I was thinking about the airplane analogy when I was writing this piece. It makes total sense, and yet with our feet planted on the ground, we seem to forget the importance of that message. I also think you're spot on with your observations. I am all of those things when I get burnt out. Thanks so much for the comment. It's always lovely to get some perspective and feedback. I love it when people make me think! Happy New Year!

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  18. Yay for you!!! I think, as mothers and women, we always put everyone else first. Just like the saying goes...you can't take care of anyone unless you take care of you first. :)

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    1. Thanks...and very true, Kristi. I don't know why it's so hard to put it into practice when we all know it. Here's hoping it takes in 2018!

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  19. Never have I read a more honest and real post that seemed to be addressed to ME! And I love that word.

    I, too, have a situation with finding my best creative time, after 8:00 and dinner it is. And I work from home! I can pick and choose. I've always had insomnia, so I tend to write and watch TV in the evening and then feel my most empowered. This makes me sleep way too late in the morning and wonder what has happened to my day.

    I got advice recently from my doctor, that we need to choose a bedtime, perhaps 10:00 pm. Count forward 8 hours, and get up. Get out of bed, no excuses. Even if you didn't sleep, get out of bed and do your thing. Don't take a nap or fill yourself with caffeine.

    It was an amazing change. It took time. I'm not perfect. When I have a heavy workload, I stay up late, hence tonight. But when I go to bed early and wake up early, it's a joyous feeling.

    Great post, Kim. You have a wonderful way of making us think!

    Jane xxx

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    1. Jane, so many people have said the same thing…this is about me! I was really nervous to put this one out there, but I’m glad I did. Everyone is sharing the most interesting tidbits and perspective. I feel like I really can (and more importantly should) do this! Thanks for the sleep tip! I am going to try it. And thanks for the sweet comment. xo

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  20. I remember as a young mother locking myself in the bathroom and running the water so I could not hear the children yelling, Mom! Mom! when are you coming out? Ten minutes alone was so precious! Now all three of my girls are struggling with the same expectations to be everything to everyone. Not necessary or good! Sending this post to them. "Me" is not a selfish word.

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    1. You know, Heather, a real life friend said to me that this will be great for my own daughters, as well...that I will be modeling positive "me" time behavior for them. I hadn't thought about it that way, but between my conversation with her and your comment, I think it will be good for them. Thanks so much for weighing in and sharing your thoughts. Good stuff. 😊

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  21. Kim,
    You hit the hammer on the nail. I needed to hear this today and so grateful I stopped by. I overdo it and feel tired everyday. I absolutely hated and I am not enjoying doing anything anymore. I have been wanted to go back to simpler ways and learn to enjoy those times. I want to spend more time with my last child before she is all grown up. Now to tell the people around me I can't help them anymore. Thank you for the encouragement. Here's to me.

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    1. Here, here, Vanessa! We can encourage each other along! I don’t think we are alone, either. So many people are commenting with the same thoughts. We push and push until we’re exhausted. Hopefully, this new year will find us all with a little more me time!

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  22. This post made me sad, Kim! I think a lot of us wives/moms are like this; trying to be everything to everyone and letting ourselves fall by the wayside. I saw a lot of former self in this post. I still do a lot for my family, but I have learned to carve out a LOT of me time. It's an absolute must. I get enough sleep (it's broken because I have insomnia lot of times, but it totals 7-8 hours), I do yoga/stretching daily, I keep my legs shaved and nails painted because these two little things make me feel good and more "together", I carve out reading time every night, I make scheduled time to go out with girlfriends. Whatever it is that floats your boat and helps you feel better, it's a must that you do those things for yourself! I have learned with my husband and son that if I don't do something - such as make a nice dinner every single night - that they survive. ;-) There's leftovers or you can order a pizza or Chinese food. It's amazing how resilient our husbands and kids are when Wife/Mom doesn't do everything for them. I know it's hard to let go of that control, but you can do it with baby steps. Starting out with going to be earlier is a good first step. Oh - and about those tummy issues - I know you and I have discussed it before because I have IBS also...not only is a low-FODMAP diet very important, but so is the stress control. I have my IBS under control with my food choices, but when I get extremely anxious or stressed (which is easy for me to do), my IBS comes back with a vengeance. The mind-body connection is very strong. Your gut is your second brain. It's all connected. Another very compelling reason to take care of yourself first and relieve some of that stress and anxiety! I'll be thinking of you...feel free to email me anytime if you want to talk. xoxo

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    1. Melanie, thank you, you are so sweet! ❤️I really do have to try that FODMAP diet again. That is the kind of thing I need the time for. You are smart to have claimed space for you and it sounds as if you have a real plan in place for self care and what you need. It's my hope that this year, I can do the same. My friend has suggested introducing time for stretching and yoga next and I am on board with that! And you know...the nails thing. Yes!! I do feel more together when my nails are done. I have put time for that on the list, too. Thanks for the pep talk and for sharing your rituals with me. I think that modeling this kind of behavior is so important and it helps me to envision what my day could realistically look like from someone I know. Not some pie in the sky magazine article. ❤️

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  23. Hi~
    Yep, I am with you. In fact I told my husband on New Year's Day, I have to make a change. I have no control over my time. I am always letting the time of others control me.
    I too have birdies that roll in late. I too like to be sure they are all accounted for. And my oldest son, loves to visit with me at late hours. This is the area of saying I have to go to bed, I wrestle with the most. I enjoy the heart to heart talks. I just can not do it at Midnight anymore. And my boys too, want to do a TV show binge. I simply had to be honest with them on New Year's Night and share, mom just can not do it and feel well and function with out headaches. I suffered from a migraine in November that knocked me down so badly. I knew I really do need to be disciplined and change my ways.

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    1. Carla, you just described exactly what goes on in my house. People keep telling me to have them take more responsibility, do more chores. That's not it. It's not that I'm doing their laundry late at night or cleaning their rooms. I'm talking with them and I love that. They come to me looking to share and I want to listen, it's so hard to say no...but like you, I just can't do it at the wee hours anymore. And migraines. Grrr...been there. Terrible.

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  24. How interesting, my friend....I have the same thought this year, that I need to take more time to focus on what my almost 50 body needs and not feel guilty about saying "NO" when I need to! I'm trying to develop a new bedtime routine, and have ordered some essential oils and a diffuser to put in my bedroom to hopefully help me sleep more soundly. I'm tired of....well, feeling tired!! I haven't slept well in eons, this darned menopause bites the big one!

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    1. Oh the insomnia, Debbie. I hear you. My husband gets into bed, says he's not tired and is snoring in ten seconds. I get into bed exhausted and then flop around in and out of sleep for the next several hours. Very frustrating. I hope your new oils work! 😊

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  25. Hi Kim and Happy New Year. I love you word for the new year. It's a great one and yes we do tend to take care of everyone else but ourselves. I cannot function if I do not get to bed before 11:00! It is great advice from your friend and I know you will start to feel better. Take care and enjoy the week and weekend.
    Julie

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    1. I have to say that the new bedtime has made a great difference, Julie. I am hoping I can keep it up. It’s easy to do when it’s so cold out. Bed’s the best place to be!! Ha! Enjoy the week and stay warm!

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  26. Me is a great word for the new year. My bed time is 10:30 and if I miss it I am a mess the next day! I have learned the hard way to rest and don't do all that I should, but I still do a lot! Sleep becomes more and more important as you get older so setting your body clock now is a good thing!

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    1. I’m working on it, AnnMarie…old habits are hard to break! But sleep does feel good!

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  27. How refreshing to see a realistic word for once instead of the ubiquitous ones like 'joy' , peace' etc. Nothing against them aside from the fact they make me want to vomit ;). Ok, that was harsh.😮 (but you get me)

    Sounds like we have the same sleep habits. Sometimes I go to bed tired, but don't fall asleep for hours while hubby falls asleep like a baby. Makes me want to bitch slap him!

    So don't hate me, but I think you should stay up if your kids want to talk to you then. Someday they will leave the nest and you can't go back. Besides, sleep is overrated, and that's why God creates coffee.

    xxx

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    1. Doreen. I absolutely love it when you comment, because as you just said to me, I know it will be real. Must be a NY thing. I laughed about your husband’s sleep habits, because my guy is the same. He sleeps anywhere, any time and all the way through the night, while I am desperate for some shut eye. And yes, that’s why it’s so hard to say no to the kids. I know how precious and fleeting this time is. They are on the brink of independent adulthood. The fact that they seek me out and want to share…and are home to do it…is a blessing. So I don’t sleep to stay up with them. It’s a hard one to cut out. I’m just trying to get them to talk to me earlier in the night, maybe three times a week! 😉

      Ok…and the brutal honesty part? Last night I was up at the nursing home holding my poor mom’s hand while she dozed. That’s about all she can do now, as her Parkinson’s has really progressed and I thought about how she hated to sleep. She used to go, go, go all night long (apples don’t fall far) and when I would say to her, mom, you need to sleep, she would say, nonsense, I’ll have plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead. And you know, as I watched her last night, I thought to myself, good girl, I’m glad she was awake and made the most of the 24 hours she was given when she was able…so you’re right. Maybe I just need more caffeine. xo

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  28. Although it's cliche, as you say, I honestly believe that if we don't take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of our families, and that goes for anyone, whether you're a mother/father/wife/husband/child/sibling, etc.

    They also say that every 5-7 years, our bodies change. That couldn't be more true for women, when they enter the chaotic world of menopause, with all its stormy symptoms, both physical and psychological, and thus, dealing with all of those, along with previous personal issues, is quite a plethora of problems to solve.

    I'm glad you're sleeping better and longer, since that is one thing that definitely provides energy for the body, clarity of mind and overall satisfying feelings. Re: the mind/body connection, I, for one, can testify that they are almost one and the same, having suffered from intestinal complications for years now, and realizing that they are emotionally triggered, with shots of anxiety and stress. I am paying more attention to what I eat, trying to exercise more, filling my time with people and things that make me happy, and most of all, protecting myself from toxic stimuli that do the opposite, but the last is easier said than done.

    May your steps, both baby and big, lead you to a place that is both peaceful and productive. Happy 2018, Kim!

    xoxo
    Poppy

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    1. Thank you so much, Poppy. You are so right. When I am well rested, I can think clearer and make better choices about food and how to spend my time. In the new year, I really hope to implement a new plan more focused on me. Here's hoping peace and productivity are not too far out of reach. Happy 2018 to you, too, Poppy. xo

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  29. We can't fill other people cups when our own is empty.

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    1. I love that saying! Thank you for sharing... 😊

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  30. Very good to read your post, and you raise some great points.

    I don't think we often realise how important sleep/rest is, and to keep to a routine, we all feel better for it but it does take discipline.

    Have a lovely weekend.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thanks Jan, you always have such nice things to say.

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  31. I don't think it's selfish at all. Not one little bit. :) We really do need to take time for ourselves on a regular basis. I'm the one who always waits up for the kids and it's exhausting. I finally started going to bed, but set the alarm on my phone for when they should be home. If they still weren't home when the alarm went off, I'd track them (yes, I have that app~ha!) and then text them. If they were going to be out a little later, I'd set my alarm again. And like you, I didn't trust my hubby to not fall asleep or not hear the phone. Ugh. So tiring. I do take time every Monday and Tuesday to pretty much do nothing and it's been great!

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    1. I need to adopt your ways, Lisa. I need a day or two to do nothing...especially now. I can't remember the last time I did my nails or read a book...and when I used to do those things it was while I was waiting up at midnight. Not optimal. I always seem to have something (or someone) who needs me right away. Oh and I have that app, too! It's awesome.

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