Mother, Is That You?

A few days ago, I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw a post on a friend's page that caught my attention.

The caption read, Pick A Card.

Below it three cards were displayed, face down, with simple messages written on top.


Now normally, I'm not a huge believer in things like that, but when it comes to games of any kind, I like to play along.

Don't get me wrong, although I don't think I'll ever get a psychic reading, I do read my horoscope and sometimes when I see my father's initials in a license plate in front of me, I like to think he could be saying hello.

However, overall, I put that stuff in the things that make me go hmmm category and move on with my day.

But, like I said, it's fun to play, so I picked the card I felt drawn to, number 3, and a day later, my message was revealed.

You can peek at the cards here.

Like I said, hmmm.

Maybe my dad really was trying to say hello, whenever I hopped in car. I guess it could happen.

Either way, it was a lovely sentiment. It made me smile and then I moved on.

Fast forward to yesterday...

You see, every now and then I get migraine headaches.

And oh man, they are not fun.

If you suffer from them, then you know. If you've never had one, lucky you.

Imagine the worst headache you've ever had, coupled with the flu.

Yeah, not good.

For some odd reason, yesterday around noon, one reared its ugly head...and after suffering through 3 zoom calls, I couldn't fight it any longer.

I tumbled into bed, drew the shades and laid in the dark for the rest of the day.

In between bouts of nausea and throbbing pain, my husband and daughter came in to tend to me, and they couldn't have been sweeter. However.

All I really wanted was my mom. 

I kept thinking about all the times she'd sat with me, rubbed my head and told me I'd be ok...and how much I missed her...really, really missed her.

It was a deep ache that totally overwhelmed me, the kind I don't usually let myself feel, because even though it's been 7 years, that depth of emotion, letting that unbridaled grief in, just wrecks me for days.

But in the darkness of the endless day, that eventually turned to a very long night, and the relentless pain that just wouldn't quit, I couldn't fight it.

And whether the tears were from the migraine itself, or the feelings of loss, they continued until 3am, when that awful headache finally let its grip on me go.

To say I was in a fog this morning, as I crawled out of bed, would be an understatement. It's the fun fact no one really tells you about, but migraines usually come with a hangover.

Minus the good memories of some fabulous party the night before.

So naturally, I wanted to survey the damage and made my way to a mirror where I was surprisingly greeted by a ladybug dangling from my matted bangs!


What?! Where did she come from and how long had she been nesting in my hair?

Did she just drop in as I faced that looking glass or had she been with me all night through my misery?

That's when I was hit with my second hmmm of the week. 

The words from that card came rushing back into my head...watch out for signs.

Are you a sign? I asked my bright red little friend, half in jest, as I escorted her to the garden.

It was a thought I couldn't ditch.

I kept envisioning that old P.D. Eastman book, Are You My Mother, as I made the bed.


I giggled about the prospect, but when I opened the shade in my daughter's room, the room I'd spent the night in, I was greeted by another polka dotted friend.

A glass ladybug, I don't recall seeing before.


How long has she been there? I wondered.

Later, as I looked for the photo I took of that card on Facebook, I came upon a picture I snapped earlier this month of a ladybug who just appeared on my kitchen sink while I washed the dishes.

And one who zoomed down me while I cleaned the toaster.


Again, more hmmms.

Had I been ignoring the signs all along? Had my mother been sending me messages, in a color that matches my decor, no less, all this time and I'd never noticed?

Was that swarm of ladybugs that popped up in the house last Christmas my mother screaming at me to pay attention? Or did we just need an exterminator?

I guess I'll never really know, but now, especially today, I'd like to believe that my visitor actually was a sign.

A long distance hug.


From my mother, on a day I desperately needed one.

So maybe the cards were right.

I should pay attention to the coincidences, believe in the possibilities, stop saying, hmmm.

And recognize the signs when they show up.

Although later on this guy dropped by.


But I have no idea who he is.

😉

Do you believe in signs? 

Do tell!