I'm Just Not That Social

June 24, 2014




I am a Type A personality. A+ actually. Textbook case. Just look around.

My house always needs to look just so. I will not go out without curled eyelashes and a heavy coat of mascara. I still record all of my purchases in a paper checkbook register and balance it to the penny at the end of every month. I spend my mornings straightening magazines, fluffing pillows and smoothing out creases on beds that no one, but me, will see for the majority of the day.

You get the picture.

Type A.

It should come as no surprise then, that when I started blogging, I read everything I could find on the subject. I was going to do it well or not at all.

I knew that I could write great content, but I had no idea about the business of blogging, what it took to succeed. So I read. I researched and I stalked. I commented and followed, added buttons, opened social media accounts and quickly got sucked up in the vortex.

The pull was inescapable. But why?

I did not care about a large following or becoming internet famous. I wasn't interested in gaining numbers for sponsors. I just wanted to write, for me. If others read it great. If not, oh well, but those perfectionist tendencies nagged at me. The blogging "rules" called for social media engagement and large followings on each and every platform. I wanted to succeed, at what I am still not sure, so I acquiesced and dove in with retweets, posts, likes and +1's.

And I hated every minute of it.

You see, before the blog, I did not have an internet presence.

At all.

I am a big fan of privacy and I rather like being an enigma. Besides the fact that I don't really think that my day is all that interesting and frankly, I don't think yours is either. 

So I remained unconnected. The blog changed all that...at least for a while. It's been a bit over a year now and I can honestly say that I still do not like most social media.

I have followed numerous people out of obligation, not desire. I was left with less time to create and write, because I was dedicating more and more time to growing my social media sites. That was not productive. I discovered that even though I had thousands of views on my blog, after all of my hard work, time spent and interaction, only a handful of those views were from Facebook and Twitter.

How depressing.

I don't like this ride and I want to get off, but is that ok? Can I do that?

Yes, says Lara Eastburn of The Moonshine Marketeer, a great social media website. She wrote a fabulous article about stepping away from platforms that don't suit you. It was the permission I needed and so I am doing it.

I am going back to my roots. I am going to focus on my writing, on my blog, the one website I really truly care about and crafting. I will stick with Pinterest, I just love all the pretty pictures ~ eye candy at its best! I will stay with Google +, it's another platform I enjoy....again, more pretty pictures! 

I may occasionally interact on Facebook and Twitter, but I won't be hanging out there or trying to create pithy new content solely for the purpose of likes and shares.

Will I be missed?

I highly doubt it.

Will I miss Facebook or Twitter? Ha! I don't think so!

This Type A girl is simplifying, remember?

I'm sure that even in my virtual house, less is definitely more.


How do you feel about social media?


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56 comments:

  1. Hi Kim, yes I agree with you that all that social media does take up a lot of time and I do not do Facebook and less of twitter too! I LOVE Pinterest and feel that google + is helpful! You have to do what you like and are comfortable with! Concentrating on writing is a good thing! Great post Kim.
    Julie

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    1. Thanks Julie! I think it's just a natural progression...part of my simplifying and getting back to basics! :)

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  2. Oh Kim -- so many things I want to say. FIRST: BE YOURSELF. Simplifying is always good, I think! I have wavered on so many of these things as well, and stick with it because... well, sometimes I don't even know. FB :: I have a blog page, but I think mostly my local friends who follow that come to my blog because of it. Others? Not so much. TWITTER :: eh. I link my daily blog posts there, and that's about it. I rarely have a good conversation there. G+ :: I just cannot get into. I link my blog posts there, and then I leave. PINTEREST :: I love it, BUT, I rarely surf it. Rather, I pin ideas gathered from the blogs I read. I look at my own wall more than others. Mine is just sort of a virtual scrapbook for ME. Along the way... I have let others influence me as far as social media. I'm kind of over it. But then, sometimes I go in waves, and it all interests me again.

    Most of all - you are a sweet friend. Thanks for all of your encouragement to me and my little blog via comments and G+ +1's. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. xo ~Sally

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    1. Sally, thank you for all of your kind words. I really enjoy reading your blog and leaving comments. I think that I am most suited for that kind of virtual social interaction! I agree with you about Facebook, the main interaction on my blog page is from my real life friends, as well...others, not so much! I already feel better about scaling back and letting go! Less stuff, virtual or real, is less stuff to manage and that is what I am going for now! Getting back to my own basics! Thanks for the very thoughtful comment!

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  3. I totally agree with you re Facebook. I joined it "for the blog" but just can't get into it. I love Twitter but mainly for keeping up with current affairs. My favourite social media outlet is actually Instagram. I'm a really visual person.

    Good on you for trying everything and then finding what you feel comfortable with. I hope you enjoy the blogging experience again because you are doing things just for you! See you on G+!

    Best wishes,
    Natasha in Oz.

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    1. Instagram is another fun one, Natasha, I agree! I am visual also, which is why I think I like Pinterest and G+ so much...all those gorgeous pictures! :)

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  4. I can totally relate, Kim! It's one thing if you look at your blog as a business, but if you're primarily blogging for pleasure then it's so overwhelming and time consuming. I love Pinterest too and I'm on Google+ but that's it for me. Thanks for writing about this and being so honest too!

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    1. Yes, JoAnne, totally different if you are blogging to generate income. Then I agree that social media marketing would have to be a strong part of a business plan. However, even then, I think that I would have to pick just a few to focus on. See you on Pinterest and Google+!

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  5. I/m with you on this, Kim. I blog when I have time and for my own pleasure. I, like you am a private person. I will not put every second of my day out there nor do I care or have time to read about other peoples lives. I am also type A so when I first started blogging I had a facebook page and found I spent to much time trying to figure out what to post and it didn't lead to those peeps clicking over to my site. I haven't posted in months. Facebook for business is a joke as the y want you to pay for fans to see your post. I don't understand twitter nor will I take the time too. I do have google+ which I admit, I don't understand however google loves it self and because of it my post often show up on the first page of a search. Life is so much simpler with out feeling like I am chained to social media!

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    1. Susie, I agree! I am feeling freer already! I felt a lot of pressure to create meaningful posts on the other sites/ interact and you're right, for very little gain. No more! Thanks for the comment and the visit! :)

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  6. Hi Kim
    “Sucked up into the vortex” perfectly describes my feelings lately! I really want to interact with other bloggers and readers, but learning the best way to do so has been time-consuming. I am still trying to figure out social media, and what I want to do with it - and I have realized it can become overwhelmingly consuming! I have made wonderful connections and found great blogs through Google+ though. Ideally, I want people to read my blog because they like it, not just because they think they "owe" me. If I am spending too much time “marketing my blog”, there will be nothing to market!

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    1. YOU just perfectly described how I feel lately!! I love reading other blogs and commenting, I love the responses I receive on Google+, I love the pictures that float by on Pinterest, so I am sticking with what I love, ditching the rest! Simplicity is my goal! :)

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  7. You've done what I've been thinking of doing.

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    1. I don't think we are alone, Janie! It seems that a lot of people have been feeling the same way!

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  8. I SO agree! Someone who feels like me! You can't know how freeing this article is!

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    1. Diane, I am so glad that it has touched you in some way! That makes my day! :)

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  9. I wondered if you were just frustrated with traffic until I saw what it was :) Good for you for making your decision before you became really stressed/unhappy. Life is short, and you seem to have picked and chosen where you find and give happiness. I think you'll find a lot of people agreeing with you.

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    1. So far, yes, Susan, a lot of people seem to agree that social media can overwhelm. I am sure that there are others who live it and love it. I say good for them. I think that everyone needs to find what brings them joy. I always advocate for filling your home with what YOU love. No one else lives there. I guess I am just taking my own advice and applying it to my virtual house! Thanks so much for the comment!

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  10. Some (not all) of the "BIG BLOGS" I once followed are now just ... well, too big! Loaded with ads and irritating pop-ups, the style is becoming lost in all the blitz and blurb. Content is often someone else's, thinly disguised as "original" with no credit or recognition to the actual source. The blogs are full of junk, and the bloggers have become full of themselves.

    I'm learning about Google+ and may do more there. Pinterest is fun, and I enjoy HOUZZ and hometalk. But
    Facebook has me at the fringe of sanity and if I had tried twitter, I know it would have pushed me over the edge. During my blogging journey, I've learned many things and revised some of my original intentions. Dropping all the worries and hopes of $$, and anything else that ties my stomach in knots, I'm now enjoying just writing, sharing and meeting a few people that I can actually connect with. I NEED HUMOR and have found that too (or not), along the way. I've also compiled a great list of resources and ideas for some fun projects. In complete agreement with Susan F's final two lines, I want people to read me because they enjoy it and I don't want to lose my original goal by getting lost in marketing!

    Thanks for a (another) great post, Kim.


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    1. Cheryl, I agree with Susan, too. I get it, we all want people to read out blogs, to connect with our words. However, if they don't know they exist, how do they see them...and so the social media marketing game begins. I am glad I tried them all, so I can say that I did it, that I tried it, at least for experience sake. It just isn't my thing. Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to comment!

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  11. I am A type too and I have to agree I find myself doing the same thing, but mostly at night. I have the kids, cooking, cleaning, running around to do and can't be online during the day so after dinner I am online for 4 hrs and then it's time for bed. I hate it and I am going to do less and more of what I love to do. I know your are going to create some great projects. Don't forget the bedsheet project. : ) Have a great summer and I can't wait to see what you are up too. Till then, my bloggy friend.

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    1. Exactly, Vanessa, your life sounds like mine and I want to spend those precious free hours doing something I love...like finally getting that duvet made!! ;) I hope you enjoy your summer, too! I am sure your 1+ finger could use a rest from your party hostess extraordinaire duties! Thanks for the comment and being such a generous supporter of my posts!

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  12. Good Afternoon Kim, Oh dear, I have not been sucked into the vortex yet, but I keep thinking that I should do more, because I keep reading that I should..... although I don't really want to. I started a facebook page, but as yet have not posted anything..... and I really don't think I will. I want my blog to grow organically, I want people to pop by and read about my day, because they want to, so I was pleased to read about how you feel, so like you I am staying with Google + and Pinterest and that is that. If I am honest, even though I am retired, I really could not find the time to do more, because I love gardening and sewing and being out and about with my friends, and if I blogged every day, I certainly could not do the other things I enjoy.
    Thank you for such an honest article.... I really enjoyed it.
    Best Wishes
    Daphne

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  13. I'm with you! I have no desire to do all the different forms of media. What's the point? Blogging is for fun in my book. If I walked away today would it matter? Nope. It's a hobby for me.

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    1. Stacey, I had no desire and no need for any of it before the blog and really, the blog shouldn't have changed that! So I am out, too...except for the eye candy sites! I do like looking at pretty kitchens and living rooms! It's much cheaper than redecorating! ;)

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  14. I feel the same way! I've only been blogging about 3 months, but I had no idea about the social marketing. Luckily, I don't do Facebook. I really like Pinterest and Google +. I've been trying to figure out Twitter, but you may have inspired me to not bother!

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    1. I have to say that I am happy I tried them all, Lana. I can now feel really good about my decision to ditch or keep a certain platform based on my effort, interactions and analytics....and my gut! I think that if I hadn't tried them out for myself, I might have felt like I was missing out on something. That said, Twitter was not my thing. At all! :)

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  15. We hear that! We are both uncomfortable with social media but do sorta get G+ and love pinterest. I realized a few months ago trying to grow our social media was taking too much time for little return so quit doing those types of parties. So glad to know we aren't the only ones that prefer to spend our time creating :) We should make a group and then never post there!

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    1. Haha~ I think that is what is going to happen to my Facebook and Twitter pages! They will be there, but not much going on.

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  16. Oh yes! Completely agree!!! It sucks you in and consumes every bit of you. I love your writing Kimmie...SO entertaining! xo Jen

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    1. Thanks Jen! I am tired of being consumed! I want to sit with my toes in the sand this summer...not hanging out on Facebook!

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  17. I thought I was the only one in blogland who felt that way, I've tried FB and just don't know what all the hype is about it, I can see if you want to keep in touch with relatives but just to go on and say "I took a shower today" is frankly stupid! I started my blog so that my grandkids could read it someday, blogging has turned into a really big thing lately I think!

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    1. Haha! I agree! That is what I meant when I said that my day/ your day is just not that exciting! I spend most days with some variation of cooking, cleaning and carpooling...I barely want to do my own, I really don't want to read about yours! Blogs can serve as a great way to communicate with family members and a lot of them start out that way. I guess as long as it's enjoyable, that's what really matters! Thanks for the comment! :)

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  18. Like you, I do not plan to advertise and do not blog for money. I have a facebook account, but rarely look at it and haven't posted anything in months. I did start instagram recently and like it for the "1 quick pic". I love the eye candy pics of the people I follow and I love looking for that 1 photo to post each day. Every once in awhile I post more than 1 pic a day.

    I think the most important thing is that you enjoy blogging. If it ever becomes a burden or a chore, then it isn't serving its purpose.

    Make it a great day!

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    1. I agree Carol. I have been having a ball with my blog so far, and frankly, I have had a few really cool opportunities come my way without advertising at all. I also like Instagram...I am a big fan pretty pictures! :)

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  19. I think every blogger needs to be comfortable with whatever they're doing, Kim. At one time I had three blogs going as I tried to find my niche. One was a devotional blog, one a photo blog, and then the third blog (which is the only one I have now). Writing my cottage blogs is really what I love to do. I've also started experimenting with low key ads because I spend lots of hours working on my blog and being on a fixed income it would be nice to at least cover my incidental expenses (domain name, computer backup, etc.). It may not happen, and if it doesn't that's okay. I've assessed and reassessed and will continue assessing all these things, because that's my nature. I always want to check myself and make sure I'm still feeling the joy. :) I do some social media, but no way do I do it daily. And if I don't get to it at all, that's fine. My goal right now in showing my house plans and the process of building our home is really to encourage others who may be contemplating doing what we're doing. And I enjoy showing ways to furnish a home on a budget. Anyway, sorry to go on and on. I think you're wise to take stock of what you really want and feel good doing in the blogging world. I'm just glad you blog because if you didn't I never would have met you. And I'm so glad I did. Be happy. Hugs ~ Nancy

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    1. Nancy, you are always so sweet and I am so glad that we have connected, as well. New friendships have been the greatest payout from blogging, that is for sure!

      I agree that assessing, taking stock and feeling good about what you are doing is the key to blogging...to life, really. If it doesn't feel real, right and true, then it is time to change. That is where I am, at a place of change (which is not so coincidentally my word for 2014!).

      I still want to write, perhaps have more of my articles published, maybe start on a book...I have a few ideas! ;) However, I was getting so sidetracked trying to manage all the different forms of social media that I was not writing as much as I wanted to or crafting or sewing. I was online and it was not productive. It was not helping me to achieve my own personal goals.

      I think that advertisements on blogs are a great way to support the habit...you are right, there are costs and it can get expensive. It also does take a lot of time to write, photograph, photoshop and post everything. I say more power to you, if you can make a buck from this gig! Trust me, I am "monetized"...I have made money decorating, staging and writing...all of which can be traced directly back to the blog. I will also continue to market myself, just not on the platforms I don't enjoy...I just don't want to spend anymore time caught up in social media, unless I am having a good time!! :) Thanks for the comment, Nancy and I can't wait to see that cottage take shape! I'd actually pay to watch that!

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  20. I read your post when it came thru my email inbox but decided to give it some thought before commenting. I have been blogging about 18 months. I was on facebook and pinterest before i began blogging and I have a personal facebook page and pinterest page. I look at facebook every day often more than once a day. I enjoy keeping up with my kids' posts and my extended family. I recently created a facebook page for my blog but I don't use it much. There are maybe a half dozen posts and they are links to some of my blog posts but i am not consistent at all about putting links on there. My blog does not have a pinterest page although I have pinned a few of my recipes to my personal pinterest. I kind of go in streaks with pinterest. I have quite a few boards and pins but sometimes i go days or a week without visiting. I have never done twitter or instagram and I have a google + account which i mainly use to sync pictures off of my phone or share pictures with my girls. I have not really gotten around to sharing blog posts there. My blog started out as a mostly garden blog and right now gardening is taking a bunch of my time and I am not getting as much blogging done as I would like. Somehow I don't think that more social media will make that better. Thanks Kim for your post.

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    1. Social media takes a lot of time and effort, Lorri, I agree. I am just not motivated enough to carve out extra time to check feeds, interact, post and repost. As it is, this summer, I have taken a step back from the blog a bit to spend more time with family. I can't do it all...so I'm not! Thanks for weighing in! I guess I'm not alone!

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  21. I think that there's a lot of social hype that I don't have the time or energy for. I have an in person life that I have to live, also. ~grin~
    Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

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    1. Agreed 100% Laura! Glad to hear that I am not alone!! :)

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  22. Hi Kim,

    I understand your frustrations and concerns even though I have never connected my blog to any of these social media outlets. I decided early on that Poppy View would be written firstly to share with like-minded individuals, and thus, make friends. Secondly, it gives me a chance to write, create, photograph, and connect. I never had any intentions of blogging to make money, even in the midst of Greece's challenging economic crisis, and that's why I never needed to chase all those social media circuits, aside from the fact that it just takes too much of my precious time! Lastly, Poppy View is written purely for pleasure, and as you may have guessed, I am also a very visual person, in addition to being a recovering Type A, whose main purpose in her daily routine is to simplify - everything, and that means in and around the house and in my head! To sum up, I have met so many sweet and talented people who I can sincerely call friends, at Poppy View, so why go anywhere else?

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Poppy

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    1. That's wonderful, Poppy and I do agree! I have met so many lovely ladies (present company included, of course!) through my blog, I don't need any other interaction. I can say that linking my blog to FB has reconnected me with distant relatives and friends, so that has been a plus, but other than that, I don't need it! :) Thanks for stopping by and adding to the discussion!

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  23. Hi Kim, I do like my house clean, but never curled my eye lashes in my entire life. lol! I jumped into blogging just because my youngest daughter told me one day that I should start a blog. Mom, she said; I think you would have fun blogging about your decorating and gardening. I did it for two years just for my kids. Didn't know blog hopping even existed. I didn't read a thing and still very uneducated when it comes to promoting my blog. I don't do it for money and just have fun with it. I do it because I love it, so very little time is spent on social media. I really don't know how to do much. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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    1. Sounds like your daughter was right! You are a natural and the fact that you are having fun doing it is all that matters! No need for social media at all! :)

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  24. I totally understand, Kim! I told myself I was going to blog my way when I first started. I don't have a FB account for my blog and I only joined Twitter because some college kids were using my logo and I needed to confront them. I enjoy IG, but it has kept from blogging as much as I'd like because it's much easier to share a quick pic rather than writing a post.

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    1. I admire you Brandi, for sticking to your own way! I had no idea what I was doing when I started, so I set up shop everywhere. Stepping back from most platforms has made me much happier...I guess I just had to check it all out to see that I wasn't missing much! ;)

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  25. Hi, Kim. First of all, I don't know why your posts have not shown in my feed, usually blogger is pretty reliable. I also follow by Bloglovin.

    I think you have to do what works for you. I don't use FB, in fact I use it so little in my private life that "friends" unfriend me; I hate it. I think twitter is stupid. I have google, but don't use it; it seems like it is too widespread like FB. I don't use Instagram, but some close friends want me to figure out how to share photos of a trip. I could do it with FB, but I hate it. I use Bloglovin, because I discovered not too long ago that I can heart other people's posts, and see an array of images like Pinterest, but without categories. Don't ask me how! I think I somehow set it up that way by accident, because I noticed most people don't have their name and their blog separate. I love Pinterest, and I am better at pinning than blogging.:)

    In general I don't care for social media, except the blog platform. I think most regular visitors to blogs share similar interests, which is not necessarily so in some other places.


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  26. I don't follow anyone. I bookmark them, remember them, return visits, etc. I don't do the 'follow me and I'll follow you / Like me and I'll like you " fake thing.
    It struck me as kind of time consuming to get people to go to Facebook so that I could, on Facebook, get them to go to my blog, so I just focused on blogging. Now I see that many people say they worked hard on FB and then it changed and wanted them to pay, etc. so I am glad that I kept my FB as my regular friends and family one.
    Twitter : I recently saw a lady comment to someone that she'd seen her so often on Twitter that she forgot that the lady had a blog! So hmm...glad that I don't do Twitter either! : )
    Because I felt this way, while if someone was having a giveaway on their blog requiring only a comment, I would participate. The ones that required me to follow, fake-like-on-FB, etc. I refrained from.
    It was a big deal to start blogging and I think that's enough ...after all how many hours are there in a day, anyway? :)

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    1. Oh Deb, you said a mouthful!! There are not enough hours to read all the blogs I would like to, comment, create and have a real-life, life!! I also agree with you on the fake follow me stuff. I did get sucked into that a bit as a newbie, but I am very discriminating now for sure. Thanks for the great comment!!

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  27. About 12 years ago I stumbled onto what I later learned was a "blog". I noticed on the left side of "her" page, there were places that if you clicked onto it, you'd be reading other blogs as well. I was intrigued to say the least. I decided to see what I could come up with. I learned right away that because I'm interested in other people, and their stories that I would share whatever was on my mind on any given day. I started out trying to blog all the time which I discontinued shortly thereafter because as you mentioned, not every single thing about me is interesting, and certainly not to anyone else.

    To make a long story short, I do FB mainly to check to see if my granddaughter has posted any pics of my great-grands. I don't try and read 100 blogs a day, I don't "tweet" or any of that other stuff. I have made some good friends over the past though, and have lost a few to untimely deaths. Basically, I like to be simple in my life these days since retirement. But, I will definitely be back to visit with you because you seem very sensible, interesting and please DON'T take your "babie's" art work down from that door. That is precious! I have a lot that my daughter made over the years but in scrap books and, now since she's about to be FIFTY this year, she'd shoot me in the foot if I put them up!

    Blessings to you and yours.

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  28. Sally, I agree with you, FB has been a wonderful way to reconnect with my cousins who are scattered all over the country. For that, I am thankful for both FB and the blog. Other than that, I find social media draining. I am flattered that you enjoy my blog...and don't worry, I won't be taking the pictures down anytime soon!! AND I think you should pull out a few of your daughter's old pictures and hang them up for her 50 party!! Surprise! ;)

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  29. "I don't really think that my day is all that interesting and frankly, I don't think yours is either. " HAHAHAHA!!! True story ;)

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    1. Yeah, I just don’t get the whole Facebook thing ~ personally or professionally.

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