I don't wear my wedding rings that often and for some reason, this does not sit well with most people. I don't know why what jewelry I choose to put on is anyone's business, but when my naked finger is noticed the reaction is swift.
Where's your wedding ring? Uh, oh, you forgot your wedding ring! Did you lose your wedding ring?
Of course, my personal favorite is the ever popular WHY aren't you wearing your wedding ring?
That one usually comes with a an expectant tone and forlorn expression.
Over the years ~ twenty two of them, I might add ~ I have thought of a few very juicy responses to that particular inquiry. However, being the good girl that I am, and knowing how rumors start, I keep my sarcasm to myself and tell the truth.
I'm not wearing my rings today, because I just didn't feel like it.
No big mystery, hidden meaning, feminist statement or impending announcement about the state of my marriage are behind my, apparently disturbing, lack of diamonds. They're just not that important to me, I am a simple girl and sometimes, my rings bug me.
The inquisition never ends there.
So I am always ready with specific examples. For instance, I can't stand it when my fingers stay wet under my rings after I wash my hands...or I usually have my hands immersed in paint...or the fact that my rings are very old, I have to be careful with them...depending on the weather they slip off easily and I don't want to lose them...or I have very dry hands and sometimes I just don't want anything on them.
Then there are times when ~ and this one really gets people ~ I just forget to put them on.
Yup. I said it.
I forget about my wedding rings. People seemed shocked when they hear this and I always laugh.
"How could you forget your wedding rings?"
I don't know, I just do.
It's really no big deal. They're just rings.
That I'm married.
The truth is this. If you are in a committed relationship and you are truly committed, you don't need a ring to tell the world. It should be very clear.
I don't need to be branded to let the world know that I'm taken.
I go to the grocery store, sans rings, several times a week and occasionally I notice men checking out my empty finger. Sometimes, they try to make eye contact. Sometimes, they try to chat.
Do I engage?
No. I don't, because rings or no rings, I love my husband and I am not even remotely interested.
As a very young couple, I remember chatting with other newlyweds. They had come to visit us at our new apartment, while we were painting the master bedroom, and they were shocked that neither of us were wearing our rings.
It's like you're not married. We never take off our rings. We feel strongly about that.
I often wonder if the rings were on during her affair?
Perhaps I would wear my rings more often if my husband asked me to, but truth be told, he isn't a big ring wearer either. His own wedding band came off often in the early years and stayed off for days at a time. He was fixing cars, laying pipe and renovating on the weekends. By the time Monday rolled around, he'd forget about it and by Wednesday we'd laugh that we hadn't been married for days!
The joke was funny, because neither one of us cared.
I guess that's what makes us a good match, we both feel that if a wedding band is going to be the only thing that deters either of us from straying then we weren't real.
And if that's the case, what would the rings stand for anyway?
They are supposed to be a symbol of our commitment and unending love.
Not a prettier version of handcuffs.
My children, the home and life we've build together, little things like clasped hands at my mother's bedside, inside jokes, inappropriate laughter, our true friendship and even the fights we've had over the years are the embodiment of those precious vows taken so long ago.
They are the intangibles that define our union and what I see when I look down at my ringless finger.
And I can never take any of that off.
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