Mother Nature And My Mother

January 5, 2018


I have always hated winter, but never as much as the day Mother Nature threw a bomb cyclone at us on the day my mother died.

Winter In The Northeast

I hate winter. To be honest, I've always hated it. This is not a recent phenomenon. Not something I can blame on my advancing age or even the recent winters, which by the way, have been downright wicked.

Nope. There's just always been something about me and winter that doesn't mesh.

Maybe it's because I'm one of those pale girls. You know, fair hair, fair skin...I'm actually more pink than white in the winter. My hands get crunchy, my hair gets staticky and I'm cold. All.The.Time.

No lie. I wear gloves in the house and a bathrobe over my clothes, because I haven't been able to find a sweater that keeps me as cozy. I drink hot water all day long to heat my insides and sometimes, I drive around the block a few times when I get close to home, because I'm just too chilly to get out of the car.

I frankly don't think Mother Nature likes winter very much either. She's always in such a bad mood.

In summer, she just seems to be more at ease. Warm and wonderful. Almost nurturing.

I grew up at the beach and with a pool in the backyard. Sun, sand and sweltering temps. I spent mornings in salt water and the afternoons in chlorine. We lived in our bathing suits. Not a bathrobe in sight.

My mother loved summer, too, and the ocean. It was her all time favorite place. It was a bit further than a trip to the bay, but she took us often as long as Mother Nature cooperated.

Red skies in morning, sailors take warning...red skies at night, sailor's delight.

That was our only weather worry from May to October.

But in winter. Oh boy. You'd better watch out.

Especially on the important days.

My February wedding was a prime example. Mother Nature delivered twenty four inches of snow the night before. Yup, you heard me right, we were walloped with two feet of snow. After a bit of scrambling, the day went off without a hitch and the pictures were beautiful, even if I was wearing a tulle dress with Timberland work boots. It was not, however, an easy day to get around.

Yesterday was another example.

Mother Nature was apparently super annoyed, by what I don't know, but we were expecting some pretty nasty conditions. Not a nor'easter, not a blizzard, but a bomb cyclone. I frankly don't even know what that is, except that it's bad. Really, really bad.

No problem. We had food, a gas fireplace and a generator in case we lost power. We had board games, internet, movies to watch and cookies to bake. School was cancelled and since we had no place to go, I said bring it on lady.

And, she did. But so did the other mother in my life.

As the wind whipped and the blinding snow fell yesterday morning, the nursing home called to say that things did not look good and we might want to come up as soon as possible.

Since my life has felt like nothing more than a series of chaotic events since my mom first fell in my driveway on Mother's Day all those years ago, I was not at all phased. Freaked out about having to drive in the bomb cyclone, yes. Gut wrenchingly distraught about the state of my mother's health, you bet. But shocked at the convergence of the two?

Nope. Not in the least.


My beautiful mom passed peacefully in her sleep last night.

She'd spent the day and evening surrounded by family. We played music, snuggled and said all the lovey things amid kisses, tears and laughter. Her favorite old movies, the ones where everyone calls each other dah-ling in black and white, were playing were the background, as we held her tight.

It was warm inside.

While Mother Nature screamed outside.

But now I hate winter just a little bit more.


Carnation Evaporated Milk Recipe Book  Sweet Memories Of My Dad
Evaporated Milk Memories Of My Dad


Saying Goodbye To A Parent Is Never Easy
Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy


158 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. It's easy to tell you and your mother dearly loved each other, thank you for sharing your feelings. I can't imagine how lost you must feel right now. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you, Judy. That's a perfect way to put it...lost. I am.

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  2. Your Mother is beautiful! I know this is hard for you, but she is at peace now. Check out a couple of books by Michael Newton, PhD. for some studies done regarding our souls for some comfort if they speak to you. You, your Mother and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I agree, she was beautiful. I appreciate the book recommendation and your kind words.

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  3. Oh I am so sorry for your loss! It brings back memories of my mom's passing. But what a beautiful farewell she shared with her loved ones. Hugs to you and thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thank you so much, Patty. I am sorry for your loss as well. We were lucky to have the opportunity to be with her. Mother Nature was no match for love...

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  4. I am so sorry to hear about your Mother. I lost mine years ago and I still cannot get past it. I still want to call her up and tell her things. I too hate winter. For me it is all the aches and pains that I have more of this time of the year.

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    1. Thank you so much, Betty. It’s an awful ache isn’t it? I lost my mom the first time when she lost her ability to speak and her function on her own. So much changed, but I adjusted. This one will be harder…and yes, winter stinks.

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  5. Kim I am so sorry for the loss of your mother xoxo

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  6. So sorry to hear about your Mom, Kim. Thoughts and prayers are sent your way. Hugs too.

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    1. Cindy, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words.

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  7. Oh Kim, such a hard way to start a new year. Both of my parents left me in the winter...my mom days before Christmas & my dad the night before Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day has always been full of land mines since 1984.

    Wishing you warm days to comfort & strengthen you.

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    1. Thank you, Jenny. I’m sorry for your own losses. I suppose it’s never easy, no matter the season. Winter just seems particularly harsh and cold. And dark. Thank you for your warm words, they mean a lot.

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  8. Oh, Kim, I am so sorry. I know that you knew this was coming eventually and that it is an end to her suffering but that doesn't mean that it is any easier for you and your family or that you will miss her any less. How wonderful that you were able to be there for her. I pray that your wonderful memories bring you comfort. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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    1. Lorri, thank you so much my sweet friend. Our conversations over the last few years have meant a lot to me. You are right, her suffering is over and she fought long and hard. I miss her terribly already, but I am trying to focus on the memories…

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  9. My condolences! I too have suffered the loss of my parent's, so I empathize in this stage of our lives, we get thru but never over! Prayers of comfort for you and your family, and the picture of your Mom is beautiful.

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    1. Thank you so very much, Leslie. What an eloquent and perfect way to put it..."we get thru but never over." Having lost my dad over thirty years ago, I can attest to that.

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  10. My sympathy to your family. This was such a heartfelt post and the picture of your mom shows how beautiful she was. I hope you find peace in your fun memories of the summers and beach trips you had with her.
    (I'll take summer over winter any time)

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    1. Thank you so much, PJ. Writing about her helped ease the pain a bit...and I will think of those summers. Those memories are a great place to dwell...

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  11. You have my deepest sympathy in the loss of your beautiful mother. Take comfort in your family and friends at this sad time (and Mother Nature better leave you alone now).

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    1. Thank you, Betty. I have been surrounded by friends and family, as you can imagine, and it has helped. And yes, it would be wonderful if Mother Nature would lay off now!

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  12. Oh Kim I am so sorry for your loss. I know this is a hard loss for you. Prayers my friend. The picture of your mom is gorgeous. You look like your mom in a lot of ways. May you find peace while you start to grieve this hard loss.
    xoxo
    Kris

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    1. Hi Kris. So hard...and if you think I look even a drop like my mom, you've just made my day! ❤️

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  13. Kim ....I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It is difficult to lose a parent. I lost mine many, many years ago. Hugs & prayers for You & your family. I am glad her family was with her when she passed. I hate winter too. Cold, bleak, wet days. ❤❤❤ Jeanie

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    1. Thank you so much, Jeanie. I'm sorry about your loss, as well. It's hard to lose your mom, isn't it...no matter what the season...

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  14. Kim, just read your post I am so sorry. I know how much your mom meant to you. I hope the fact that you were a wonderful daughter to her brings you some comfort. Sending hugs your way Tracy S

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    1. Thank you, Tracy. Your words definitely help... ♡

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  15. Dearest Kim
    I am so sorry. You have interwoven such beautiful, poignant and sometimes sad stories of your Mom. But in each one you oozed love , affection and respect for your Mom. I have a father with Parkinson’s who is 84 and in assisted living. This past year I am in the ER followed by rehab facilities in regular cycles. We are nearing the next step which I have dreaded which is a nursing home. I felt like a kindred spirit when you described your visits and the post where your mother spoke volumes with a glance when you broke down sobbing brought tear to my eyes...like a faucet being turned.
    Your strong connection will never end. Souls don’t die. How could they? You did right by your Mom, right until the end.
    May all the great memories sustain you through your grief.

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    1. Susan, your words have really touched me. Thank you so much. It's been a very long and sad road, as you apparently well know ~ I am so sorry for that. I haven't always been sure I have done the right thing, I wanted my mom here with me in my house, but that was not possible. I tried to visit every day, but again, with kids and a family of my own, that was not possible, but I tried to do my best, for her. The fact that you were able to tell how much I loved my mom gives me hope that she too knew how much I loved her. I told her often, but I always felt like I could've and should've done more. Don't we all? I wish you all the best with your dad and I wish your dad all the best as he is the one walking in my mother's terrible shoes. I will cherish your words...and read them often and I send prayers to you.

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  16. Hi Kim. So sorry to hear of beautiful mom's passing. Wishing you comfort and healing in the days ahead. My mom just passed early Christmas morning, so 'm with you on not being a winter fan. Hugs to you. Jane

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    1. Oh Jane, I am so sorry to hear about your own mom. It's hard to lose your mom, no matter the day or the season, but Christmas is especially hard. I am sending huge hugs right back to you. Peace and prayers, too...

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  17. Oh Kim, I'm so sorry about your Mother!! She was quite a lovely woman! I know you're going to miss her so much. Thinking about you...

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    1. Thank you, Florence. And I do agree, she was a lovely woman in every sense of the word.

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  18. Kim, I'm so sorry and I understand more than you can know. Sending you love and hugs now and in the days to come. ♥

    Stacey

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    1. Thank you so much, Stacey. It’s been hard, those days to come are now and I am trying to fill them instead of thinking…

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  19. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family.

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    1. Thank you so much, Marty. It means a lot. ♡

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  20. Oh, Kim...I did not expect this at the end of your story. It left me in tears. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother. I hope it's some consolation to know that her last moments were spent surrounded by her family, wrapped in love and peace. My heart goes out to you...I will be holding you close and saying prayers for comfort as your mourn the passing of your beautiful mother. {{hugs}}

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    1. Melanie, thank you so much for the hugs and prayers. They really do help enormously. I am comforted by the fact that I did get to say goodbye and hold her on that awful, awful evening, but the pain is still close by...as you know all too well, my friend. ❤️Hugs right back to you...

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  21. I am so very sorry, Kim! I know your life is forever changed now and you will miss her always. I also know for sure that your family will forever be retelling all the stories about your amazing mother because I have loved hearing some of them myself on your blog. I'm glad to feel like I knew her a little too, just from those stories, and what a lady she was! No wonder you're the "remarkable" woman you are.

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    1. Dewena, thank you, thank you, thank you. You said so many kind things. She really was an amazing woman, vibrant and feisty, but the personification of class. To be compared to her, even in the slightest, is a compliment of the highest order. We dug out old pictures and scrapbooks this weekend and have been going through them to ease the pain a little. So many wonderful memories...

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  22. I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. My mother passed very unexpectedly two years ago and there is still a hole in my heart. Sending you prayers and hugs for peace during this very sad time. ((hugs))

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss, Debi, and the sudden nature. There is no one like your mom and the hole that's left behind is huge. Hugs to you too...

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  23. Remember to be easy on yourself as you go through what your grief consists of, not what others does. Grief is the place we have when there is no where to put the unspent love we still hold within our hearts for our beloved ones. xo

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    1. Thank you so much for these amazing words. I have kept them in my heart the last few days and repeated them to others in my family who are grieving around me. They really have helped...xo

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  24. Oh Kim, I am so sorry for your loss.

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  25. Oh my goodness, Kim. I'm so very sorry. I have tears as I write this. I only hope you can feel the prayers, hugs and warmth I'm sending you. xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much, Lisa. It’s been a rough few days, but all the sweet comments and virtual hugs really do help. xo

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  26. Dear Kim,
    I am sending prayers and hugs.
    I am here if you ever need to vent.
    xx oo
    Carla

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    1. Thank you so much, Carla. I just may take you up on that offer...xoxo

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  27. Kim I am so sad to hear this news. Prayers for you and your family my friend. May she rest in peace.

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    1. Mary, thank you so much, my friend. It means a lot...

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  28. Kim, I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my father this past June (98 years old!) and my mother two years ago. No one is ever prepared for it, I suspect. You are an amazing writer, Kim; your blog is one of my very favourites and I was so sorry to read your news. Sending warmth and hugs to you.

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    1. Sue, I am so sorry for your recent losses...and you are so right, no matter how much time we have, we always want more and no matter how much our brains know what's coming, our hearts just never see it. Thank you so much for your words of condolence and for your kind comment about my writing and blog. They are both extremely kind and appreciated.

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  29. Oh dear Kim! I'm so, so sorry! But yet, I'm thankful that even though Mother Nature packed a punch, you were able to spend the last hours of your mom's life with her. Such treasured memories those will be. Such a truly beautiful and amazing lady she was, and there is no one in the world who can replace our mother. I had a sick feeling in my heart when you mentioned your mother in the title of this post. I wish I could just hug you right now! And hear your stories again of the precious memories of your mom. I know you have so many of them welling up in your heart and mind.

    I understand that you don't like winter, and while I confess I do love it, however I understand the cold part. I think you need to come visit me in Idaho, and maybe you'll see that there is a different kind of cold than on the east coast. Here we have no humidity, and when it is 20 degrees out, the world fairly sparkles and glows. I don't care to be cold either, but wood heat really makes a difference in how you feel in the cold.

    Dear friend, I am grieving with you, and praying for you. This was just such a shock to read! I can't imagine how stunned you must feel too. So I will be praying for you!!!

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    1. Marilyn, thank you for your very kind and thoughtful comment. It's been a tough time and like you, even though we were expecting it (for years) it was still such a shock. We are never truly prepared. Thank you for the prayers, my friend. Thank you also for your lovely thoughts on winter. You know, it's funny, I went to college in a very cold and snowy mountainous region and even though I loved summer way back then, I still enjoyed college and all the winter that went along with it. It was a beautiful area and the cold didn't bother me...plus I learned how to drive like a champ in the worst weather winter could throw at me! I know how lovely Idaho is covered in snow, your photos are a true testament and perhaps one day I will see the beauty in the winter months around me again. After all, there are a lot of them here! xoxo

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  30. Oh gosh, I am so very sorry to hear this!! But I'm also so very glad you were able to be with her in her last hours. Despite the horrible weather. You had a higher power guiding you through the storm. Hold her memory close.

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    1. Thank you, Kathy. I am so glad that we were able to make it through the storm too. It was a state of emergency in our area, no one allowed on the roads, but we said, well, we think this is an emergency and went for it...guided for sure as you said.

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    1. Hugs and love to you...couldn't get through it without you. ❤️

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  32. Oh, Kim, there are no words. I'm sitting here crying. A big strong hug, my friend.
    Amalia
    xo

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    1. Oh Amalia, my sweet friend, I will take that big hug. xo Thank you.

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  33. Oh, Kim, I'm sooo very sorry that your mom has passed away. I know it was probably expected but it's never easy nonetheless. My heart goes out to you, my friend. Prayers coming for your family... <3

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    1. Thank you so much, Barbara. It was expected, and yet still such a shock. I guess we're never really prepared are we?

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  34. oh Kim.
    there are no words I can say that seem good enough.
    my heart to yours. ♥

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    1. Tammy, your words are perfect. Thank you so much, my friend. ♡

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  35. I am so sorry, Kim. I know one of the first responses to this sad news is often, "She's in a better place;" but she's no longer with you, so how can she be in a better place? Your heart is hurting right now, and that's okay. You have to let yourself grieve for however long it takes. One day, maybe not for awhile, you'll feel the warmth of a sweet angel watching over you and you will again smile. Blessings to you and your family.

    Warm hugs,
    Carol

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    1. Carol, what a wonderful comment. Thank you so much. Your words are perfect and do bring comfort. Hugs back to you my friend.

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  36. My sincere condolences on the passing of your mother. Thank you for sharing the beautiful happy picture.

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    1. Thank you so very much for your very kind words. ♡

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  37. I am so sorry for your loss ~ please consider yourself very hugged.

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    1. Thank you so much, Bobbie. Hugs are good and I really appreciate it…

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  38. Love and prayers for your broken heart.

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    1. Thank you so very much. And I will gladly take them...

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  39. Dear Kim ... I am so very sorry. Sending warmest hugs to you my sweet friend. Love ♥ Teri

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  40. So sorry that you had to endure two horrible storms in one day. I know this is so hard on you after watching your Mom suffer all these years. She was so beautiful! I hope you can remember her like she looks in the picture....vibrant and smiling. It was nice that you got to spend time with her and say goodbye. Sending hugs your way xoxo

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    1. Two horrible storms…what a perfect way to put it, AnnMarie. Thank you for your kind words and the hugs. It has not been an easy road for any of us, especially my beautiful mother, but are trying to focus on all the wonderful memories now. Pictures do help...

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  41. Oh, Kim! I was not expecting these news in your post. I am crying as I write this. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I know very well what you are feeling right now. It has been seven months since my dad left us and I still have not come to terms with it. You are in my thoughts, dear friend. Sending you lots of strong hugs. Maria

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    1. Oh Maria, I know you just went through this, I am so sorry. Thank you for your kind words and strong hugs are the best. I’m sending some back to you. ♡

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  42. Kim,
    I am so very, very sorry that your Mother has passed away. I know the deep love, dedication and honor that you have always given her. My heart aches for you. She was such a beautiful woman and has such a beautiful daughter.
    Thinking of you with love and friendship,
    Jemma

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    1. Jemma, thank you so much. The kind words from so many, including yourself, really has helped to ease the hurt. I appreciate the heartfelt words more than you know. xo

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  43. Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. We are never ready, expected or not, for any loss, but to a woman, I think, the loss of a mom is almost overwhelming. When my mom first became sick she always said that the last time she was in the hospital, she wanted us to tell her about what we were doing in the way of decorating in our homes. That was a subject she loved all her life. I thought about that the whole way following the ambulance to the hospital. As it turned out she passed away in the ambulance so she didn't get to hear our stories. I am so glad you were able to spend quality time with your mom, doing all the things that she loved in her life. Take care, my friend, and my thoughts are with you and your family..xxoJudy

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    1. Judy, thank you so much for sharing your own story. I am so sorry for you loss. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, the hurt is always palpable and yes, moms are special people. I guess we are among the lucky ones who had amazing mothers. It’s certainly a very painful loss, but I guess only because of how much love was shared between us.

      I really am taking my time to get through the comments. It hasn’t been easy. There are so many heartfelt thoughts being shared and so much great advice and words of comfort. I am trying to take them all in…Thank you so much for your comment. xoxo

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  44. Oh, Kim....I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom was beautiful! I hate that it happened during the bomb cyclone. I will pray for you and your sweet family during this time of sorrow.

    (((((hugs))))),
    Ricki Jill

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    1. Thank you so much, Ricki Jill. She certainly was beautiful and yes, that cyclone made life much harder that day. She was worth the treacherous drive. I am so glad we were able to get there.

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  45. Kim, I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother over 10 years ago early in the morning on the day our son was marrying his best friend. We told no one that day because we knew she wouldn’t have wanted to ruin the day. Life is so full of surprises, both good and bad. Take care and remember all the good and funny memories you have of her.

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    1. Thank you so much, Carol. I am sorry for your own loss. Time doesn't seem to remove the sting, does it? We are trying to focus on all the fond and funny memories. There are a lot of them....

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  46. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You've always said such wonderful things about her and your love for her has been, and still is, present through your words. Its beautiful that such a wonderful woman had such a loving and personal send-off from this world. It brought tears to my eyes, the bittersweet day it must have been. She seems like the kind of woman who will leave a legacy of love in her wake. I wish you and your family a peaceful time making arrangements for your mother and settling her affairs.

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    1. Audra, thank you for your absolutely beautiful comment. It has brought me a great deal of peace. I have read it over and over again. Everything you said is so true. Her funeral was lovely and her legacy was so clear with seats filled with family members from near and far. It was a lovely celebration of her life and her love of life, words that I will keep close while I am missing her...

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  47. I absolutely did not expect this as I read your post. I was nodding my head at so many of your reasons for hating winter and the cold, we didn't have a beach or pool, but just had a little swimming hole that was good enough growing up. Don't feel bad for me, I've more than made up for it by taking a lot of tropical vacations in my adulthood! Anyway---

    I'm feeling a lump in my throat. It's hard to lose a parent, but perhaps even harder to care for an aging or ill parent, not knowing what each day will bring, whether it's taking a toll on you physically, mentally, or both. My mom had untreatable cancer. While the time seemed to go on forever, it still wasn't always enough time. But when they lose their ability to recognize us or speak to us, I feel it can be nothing but sadness.

    Sending love and prayers to you and your family, Kim.

    Jane xxx

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    1. Jane, thank you for your sweet words. They really do help and I’m trying to digest them all. So much of what you shared is relatable. I’m sorry that you and your mom had to go through a similar experience. It’s truly heartbreaking.

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  48. I am so sorry for your loss but WOW, it sounds like your Mom was surrounded by so much love that she could not hope but know you were all there and how much she was loved. She is not suffering now and she would not want all of you to "Suffer" her passing but to rejoice in the memory of her life. This will come with time. I say this because I have been without both my parents now for 14 years. You had the gift of being able to say Good Bye and that is precious. I was able to say Good Bye to my Mom but not to my Dad and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. So remember her with smiles and laughter, not tears but that too will come with time...
    Take care,
    Hugs,Deb

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    1. Thank you so much, Deb and you are so right, saying goodbye was a gift. I did not get to say goodbye to my dad either. It’s something I still haven’t really made peace with 38 years later. We are trying to focus on the laughter and the great memories. I hope it in time that will be easier to do... thanks for the hugs. ❤️

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  49. So very sorry for your loss..... What a beautiful lady she was.....I lost my precious 56 year old sister this past March to cancer..... she was a beauty too !! Inside and out.... how I miss her; we were not just sisters but besties...!! Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family....... Thank you for sharing those "summertime" memories with us....

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    1. I am so sorry, Lisa. 56 is just way, way too young. I am sure you miss her more than words can express. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I am sending prayers of comfort and peace to you, as well. Time helps a little, but that ache never really goes away, does it?

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  50. Kim I am so sorry to hear about your mom passing away. I know this is a sad time for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There will be no more suffering for your mom. Sending hugs your way.
    Julie

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    1. Thank you, Julie. I appreciate the kind words...and yes, she is free from that bed and her broken body.

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  51. I'm really behind on reading blogs, so just now seeing this. I'm so sorry about your mother. You were such a wonderful daughter!
    Brenda

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    1. Thank you, Brenda...and that is a very kind thing to say. Sometimes, I wonder if I did all I could have...I guess we all do.

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  52. Prayers and sympathy to you and your family.

    When I lost my Mother I turned to her and simultaneously we said "We are orphans." even though we are adults.

    Your Mother was a lovely person.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. And yes, I totally get that...now that the services are over and we are all home again, separated, my siblings have all been texting saying that we must stay in touch. We're all we've got...

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  53. Oh, Kim! I’m just making my way around to visit my favorite blog people. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You’ve written so beautifully about her over the years. She was beautiful.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

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    1. Deanna, thank you so much, my sweet friend. ❤️

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  54. I am so sorry for your loss. There is no sadness like losing your mother and best friend. What a loving send off your mother received. In May I lost a brother, in June I lost the other brother, and my son-in-law died suddenly in Aug. I feel numb. What a year.
    Although I live in Florida, I hate the cold and dampness, doom and gloom. Thank goodness it's not many days. Just cannot function in the cold. When I lived in the north, the winter sky at sunset with bare tree limbs in the air was so depressing. Surely, I have SAD.
    I leave you and other posters with these words: "You never know when the last time will be the last time" (act accordingly).

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    1. Oh, I am so very sorry to read about all of your losses. It seems as if it's almost too much to bear. My heart and prayers go out to you. I agree that the awful weather just adds another layer of doom and gloom to the air. I feel it on a regular day, on days like this, it's just too much to bear...and yes, your words are very true. Kindness and love matter every day...peace to you...

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  55. I am so sorry to hear of your loss - can't blame you at all for being annoyed with winter even more now. And I am glad it was so peaceful for her, even with the darned bomb cyclone happening. I can't even imagine living in that kind of weather! I'm sure I would suffer from SAD all the time - I have to have SUN! Take care of yourself over the coming days and stay as warm as you can!

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    1. Thank you, Gina. It was peaceful in the room even if it was truly awful outside…and yes, this weather is not my cup of tea. I am still freezing and I need a good shot of summer!

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  56. Of all the things not to wonder, first and foremost, is if you did enough. Make no mistake, your mother was blessed to have such a loving, caring daughter, and I'm absolutely certain she knew it.

    Losing a mother is a loss unlike any other. The void in our hearts never leaves us, and that is as it should be. After all, doesn't the person who showered us with the all too rare unconditional love deserve that? Embrace your grief and honor her memory through your writing and your actions, and eventually the physical pain you feel in your hear will give way to a calm acceptance and appreciation for having had the love of someone so special in your life. Her legacy lives on in you, your siblings and all your children.

    She was a strikingly beautiful woman with a radiant smile that hints at the wonderfully vibrant and interesting woman she was. I see a lot of her in you!

    xxx

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    1. Doreen, your first sentences are amazing. Thank you, my friend. You always have something just perfect to say. And yes, you're right, the loss of a mother is like no other. She was there in the beginning and I am lost without her. Comments like yours are providing great comfort. I just know I will read them over and over...especially the part where you said I look like her. ❤️ If only...

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  57. Oh, Kim
    I’m so sorry about your mom. Losing a parent is never easy but in time you will remember all the lovely moments with her. Lifting you up in prayer my sweet friend. God Bless you.

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    1. Vanessa, thank you so much for the very kind words. I have been reading all the comments and taking the words to heart. The really do help.

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  58. Kim I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a mother can be hard on one's soul. A mother is like no other. I am sending all angels to help you through this difficult time. I feel your pain. Hugs & prayers are being sent to you on the wings of a snow white dove a sign from above. Stay well & I enjoy following you as you never seem to disappoint us.

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    1. Why was my reply deleted. Did I do something wrong. How can it be wrong to want to convey your sorrow to someone has lost a love one?

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    2. Jan, I am so blessed truly to have so many people who are sending me such lovely, lovely words, yourself included. This is such a difficult time and the prayers and kindness that you are sending really touch me. Thank you so much for reaching out and taking the time to leave a comment. It really does make a difference.

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    3. Hi Jan, your comment is lovely and so appreciated. It was not deleted on my end. I hope that you can still see it on your end and my response as well. Thank you so much again.

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  59. Beyond Beautiful . . .
    Lovely, warm, pretty . . .
    Sad for you Kim . . .
    My love and caring . . .
    lynne

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    1. Thank you, Lynne. Your words always make me smile...

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  60. Toni | Small Home SoulJanuary 10, 2018 at 10:23 AM

    Oh Kim, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news about the loss of your mom. It's so hard to lose our patents but I'm glad she was surrounded by all the loves of her life in her last moments on earth. You'll always miss her but you have so many great memories of times on the beach together and the love you shared to carry with you. I'll be praying that the Lord will wrap you and your family in his loving arms to get you through this tough time.

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    1. Thank you for the visit today, Toni and for leaving such a kind comment and thoughtful comment. I really do have to dive into those good memories. There are so, so many....thanks for the reminder.

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  61. Your mom was a gorgeous lady. I’m so glad you were able to be with her at the end of her time here and that it was so peaceful. Please know I am keeping you in prayer as you walk through the days to come.♥️

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. It was a peaceful evening and I am so lucky I was able to get there. She really was so beautiful, looking at her photos has helped to revive some of the old, wonderful memories.

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  62. Thanks Kim you never seem to disappoint anyone. Your mother did a good job when she brought you up.

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    1. Thank you, Jan. She would be very pleased to hear that, I know.

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  63. Kim, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers for your comfort during this time. ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much, Sarah. I really appreciate the kind words and comment.

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  64. I hate winter too and for all the same reasons, right down to my mom going out in a blizzard. Like the sign says, no one ever loves you like that again. Peace.

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    1. No one does love you like that ever again. It’s so true. I’m sorry for your loss. Winter really does suck. Thanks so much for your note, it means a lot. ♡

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  65. Kim, I am so sorry to learn of your mother's passing. You have been down a long road that many of us share. I lost my parents many years ago. As time has passed I often see them in my mind having coffee at my table. My dad liked to stop by often. It's very comforting to "see" them at my table as they used to be. Praying for you.

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    1. Thank you so much, Janet. I am sorry that you have lost your parents, as well. It's not easy. I have been looking for signs of my mom and so far I've heard her name many times in the past few days...which is odd...because her name is Harriet...

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  66. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss Kim. Words always seem so empty at a time like this but know that your Mom will always be there. Every time you feel the sun on your skin and the wind in your hair, she'll be right there. Sending lots of love

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    1. Thank you, Michelle. I really am trying to feel her presence and remember all the wonderful times together. It definitely helps.

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  67. So sorry about the passing of your mom, Kim. I'm sure she felt all the love from her family in that room. Hugs and prayers for you during this difficult time.

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    1. Thank you, Kristi, I am so glad that we were able to make it there that day...

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  68. I'm so very sorry about the passing of your mom. It's wonderful that you got to spend time with her in the end. Prayers for your family.

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    1. Thank you so very much, Susan. It was a true gift that we were able to say goodbye...

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  69. I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about winter for the same reason. Both of my parents died during Decembers in Illinois, 16 years apart. It always seems so much darker at night when it's cold out.

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    1. I am sorry to hear about your winter losses, Jane. It really is darker and colder and harder to find a bit of light in which to ease the pain of grieving. Comments like yours help. Thank you for reaching out...

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  70. Kim, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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    1. Jan, thank you so much for reaching out and leaving such a kind message.

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  71. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thank you so much, Jan. I really appreciate your sweet words...

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  72. Kim, Harriett was such a special person. We loved her ever since she married our cousin Al. She is dearly missed. I am sure she is reunited with her husband.

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    1. Jeannie and Al, she loved you both, too, so much. She was an incredibly special person and I miss her so much I can't breathe at times, but I have so many beautiful memories to focus on...and the thought of her and my dad makes me smile. Love and hugs to you both. ❤️

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  73. Kim, I'm late reading this and I'm so sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was surrounded by a lot of love. Hope you are staying warm!

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    1. Kim, thank you for the sweet note. It really does make a difference…and yes, so far, we’re a bit warmer. I hope it stays this way. :)

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  74. Oh sweet girl.....I am so sorry to hear this news. I lost my Mom on a miserable cold day as well, but I could never have told it as well as you did!
    It leaves a big hole no matter the circumstances. I wish I could make it better for you, but I can only pray for peace and acceptance in your life and a little warm weather would help too.
    Blessings to you, and lots of hugs,
    J

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    1. J, thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. I am so sorry that you have that same un-fillable hole. I guess you're right, the circumstances really don't matter all that much, the pain is there regardless...but yes, a little warm weather, a walk in the sunshine, bare feet in the hot sand, it could provide a little comfort. Of course, I have a little while longer to wait for that...silly groundhog. Hugs back to you my friend. xo

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